So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
