You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
