Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
