my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
