took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
