But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
