Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
