Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
