She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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