I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
