I wish I only lived at night.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
