or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
