Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
