I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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