So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
