He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
did i walk over a car last night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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