but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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