is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i out mim tonsoeep
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