she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Farmville is her only friend.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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