With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
