you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
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Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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