it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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