well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize