I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
