can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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