I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
People with herpes should wear stickers.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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