Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
