I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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