My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize