Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
