ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
