Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
