I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
