so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
