North Korea, Best Korea!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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