yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
