A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
