I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
