ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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