woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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