ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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