Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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