Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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