i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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