she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
