Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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