dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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