plz talk dirty to me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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