You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
