Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
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How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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