Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
420 ftw
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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