okay pat passed out under dana's car
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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