He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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