It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize