Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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