What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The best revenge is premature balding
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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