It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
