and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
