HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
