Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
