All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
